my dearest seunghani,

i'm writing this my tears in my eyes. missing you these days feels like somehing stuck in my throat, it can't be reached by raw hand nor i can swallow to make it go away. i don't actually know what is this feeling, like i want to see you every single day, i want to watch you singing and dancing asap but also at the same time i don't want to pressure you as you've been through so much. 

2024, in short, i can say it's a bittersweet year. recalling what we've been through in this year made me sob, out of feeling pathetic towards me and out of relief too. we did so much to show to your fuckass company that you are loved, you are wanted, you are missed, and you are worth to be back on stage again more than anything. 

with so many fan projects that had been done to show our supports, i personally involved in several of them. when i recall my feelings during the projects, i couldn't help but cry again. so much love and desperation hoping you could hear our voices, or at least your company and everyone in your team. at the end of this is we want the best for you and we thought that was the best. 

until today, 31 dec, i still couldn't hear your voice and i still don't know much what you actually have been through in the background in 2024. what i know is, probably only 1% of it, that your friend shared with us you've been practicing for 9 months and you even received compliments from trainers. to be very honest, i'm dying to see how much you've improved after that 9 months of relentless practices. and i wanted to see more of you, more than what i saw throughout that short amount of time. i wish i could hear from yourself how did you spend your 2024 and your hopes for 2025. and i know it hasn't been easy for you. if your 2024 was filled with more unpleasant moments than happy ones, and you don't feel like sharing them, i'll understand. 

my wish for our 2025 is, to have more happy days together. alongside with other hongjjanggus who have been waiting for you for over a year. i'm waiting for the day you can spend your time on real-time with us if not daily, weekly, or monthly. we're going to see each other right? i promise i'll be there for your debut and more shows forward. i'm not the type who likes to remember bad things that happened to me, but i do think this time i should remember how i felt and what i faced so i can spend my 2025 without regrets with you. 

my wish for YOUR 2025 is, for you to always be happy and safe in the arms of the people who love you. your family, friends, colleagues, staff, and us fans. i want to be a fan that you can feel safe and assured. the worst part of whatever this is, is over now. you can only rise higher than where you are now. you are a very talented and skilled idol, who excels in singing and dancing so well. and i trust in your talents that you will soar high and achieve what you dreamt of. numbers are just numbers, i hope you don't feel pressured and too stressed out about it later. i hope that you feel excited to see us again as much as we do. 

a little advice from a noona in life, things will always turn out fine and sometimes they turn out even better. sometimes time do heal, sometimes it stucks with us forever and that's fine too. this will shape us of who we are and how we're moving forward in life. you'll do a great job, i know you do. i trust you.

may we can see you more often in 2025, and get to hear your voice again, get to watch you dance again, get to listen to your singing again. may we in the best health, may less people come to our life just to hurt us. and may more people come to our life to share the love for us. 

stay healthy, eat well, sleep well, practice well, go out and play too sometimes, go take a walk, be at your best condition at all times, and rest well. i love you

- jwa noona