I’ve wanted to vent out everything that I keep in about us. Small part of me wants me to forget everything we had but another part wants me to keep everything at the backside of my head.

To be very honest, I was kinda regret started this relationship because what I felt on our first day was so different what I feel today. I never liked you that much then. Throughout our relationship I let myself and pushed myself to fall for you. And I did. It was like a two ways of feeling. That’s why it felt so good just right. But it started to feel one-sided when we had our first fight. I learnt that you don’t know how it feels like to lose someone you love so bad. I hoped that you can change to a person where you can fight for someone but it was hard for you to fix it you said. But I was kept on hoping for the next fight we had I don’t have to beg for you anymore but it didn’t work like that.

I felt quite early we only clicked at some parts. But I told myself that if I fight for this relationship, everything will fall onto its place. I guess its place is how it is right now. We had so many misunderstandings, fights which I sometimes recall at super random times. Guess I still can’t forget how it pains me.

I do appreciate everything we had. Everything you did to me, everything you gave to me. You asked what else ‘not enough’. At that time I couldn’t answer properly because I myself didn’t know what else I want from you. But now I know. All I wanted from you was you to fight to keep things together. I told you on why you never try to fix things with me. Then someone told me that I can’t force someone to care for me, to love me, to fight for me unless they themselves want to do it. I should’ve known at the very first day you don’t feel like to fight for us instead of hoping you to change because people won’t change unless they want to.

I’m very sorry for all those days I forced you to do things you don’t feel like you want to do them.

I just wanted to feel appreciated. I just wanted to feel wanted.

I don’t blame you on what happened to us now. Maybe this is what we both deserve. This relationship can be as a lesson for both of us to fix ourselves.

I loved everything we shared, we gave and we had. Thank you for letting me know how it felt to be loved by someone genuinely. Thank you for everything.

I hope for your next relationship, you’ll get your dream girl that fits how you always wanted. I hope she can let you play your games all night because sometimes I didn’t LMAO SOZ. I hope she is clingy at your interest level so she doesn’t call you while you’re in game. I hope she loves your favourite football team and buy you every new season jerseys. I only able to buy you one I’m sorry I don’t know much :< I hope she doesn’t get upset out of nowhere like I always did because you just suck at pujuk. I hope you can pujuk your future girl better okay girls love it. Pamper her, tell her she’s beautiful at every edge of her, and tell her that she looks prettiest when she wears particular outfit and tudung and lipstick shade. I hope she makes you smile so often that you forgot how’s your face when you’re not smiling. I hope she can love the way you are and you can love her the way she is. I hope you can find her as your comfort place and she can find you as her comfort place.

I wish the best for your studies too. I hope you get to change the program to the one you wanted. Do your best in everything because results won’t betray your efforts. I wish for your eternal happiness because you deserve everything in the world. Tell your mom I’m sorry I can’t be the best for you and I’m glad she liked me.

Thank you.