sucks how when i'm sad, i start to miss everyone and hating how i'm shaped. both physically and, can i say, everything.

i'm on very highkey missing silverboys right now.

i believe, they all are doing well on their own but sometimes i do remember how things were back on ygtb. fans were desperate to make A+Jihoon debut together but that shit company wanted someone else to debut.

but i guess the best thing ever happened was they knew fans wanted them to debut together and cherish the friendship they have.

now, my only greed for these boys is, a collaboration. please

and shit, here we go again. insecurity.

like shit, i wanted to post a picture on instagram just now. i did post it but i deleted it right away.

fuck, i hate the way i look.

asymmetrical features, like very obvious lopsided features.

i hate the shape of my face. i hate wearing shawl because it'd be very obvious how my face shape really look like. now i am very tempted to delete this one post of me wearing shawl.

sucks how i need assurance almost every time. i wanted to be independent too, at least towards myself.

how to assure my own self on this?

people get sick of assuring me, i get insecure so often.

they love strong confident girls. while i'm neither.

shit, i hate everything.

when i can get a stop to this? or i will grow old with insecurity too? do our moms feel insecure too?

i hate everything.

i wish i'm taller,
skinny,
has a very beautiful speaking voice,
brings a comfort to people,
and look pretty in every angle.

i hate feeling like this the most. very petty yet affects me so bad.