turning twenty-one this May, i keep on reflecting myself on how much i've achieved in my life and how far i've progressed. then i become demotivated every time i do this because i've achieved nothing and i'm stuck in the same fucking place.

not sure what is bothering me, but i get distracted once in a while. i know i need to get focused and back on the track but i found myself lost in me.

i always have an existential crisis. i always wonder do people remember me? do i bring great memories? do i bring nuisance?

when someone cuts me off from their life, i feel so guilty for not be able to be the best one. i always know i'm suck at keeping people in my life. i sometimes push people away, and most of the time people take a step back and leave.

being sad is such a waste of time. but i can't help but feel bad because i realize someone cuts me off from their life. where did i go wrong?

but i understand. i bring nuisance more than anything.

i'm sorry.