i'm probably not the one who has any say about this to anyone because everybody has their own way to cope with their life.

but here are my thoughts.

my journey in finding myself was not fun but tears i shed was worth it. it's all started with someone ghosted me for no absolute reason and he didn't explain to me why he did either. back then i felt like he owed me an explanation for doing so but now, no. He can do whatever he wanted to, and it's all up to me whether to suck it up or leave for good.

i was always wanted people to validate me. i was forcing people to love me so i can love myself. i felt the pressure to fit in anybody's clique. i was suffocated because of following others' pace.

when anybody that i was being dependent to started to be cold, i felt like shit. i felt like i'm no worth than dirt. i didn't know that i could leave if i want to. i didn't know i don't have to wait for anybody to leave just to prove my guts that they're no longer interested in me.

when our energy is not reciprocated, we know it is not reciprocated because we know what we want, it is time to leave.

nobody owes us their time and energy because we give them. they give if they want to. they give as much as they want to. when they give you so little, it means they are interested in you only a little.

we can stop wasting our time to make us feel good by being 'optimistic' about it. such as, "oh they're busy". yes, they are busy with their own stuff and we don't have any say about it. we can't tell them to spend some time with us if they don't want to.

when people are busy with their own stuff, then we should be busy with our own stuff. hey sis, there are LOTS of things to do in this world. we can binge watch netflix, watch make up videos, play online games, and a whole load more.

we don't have to wait for anyone to love us back, to talk to us back, to find us back, nope. they talk to you if they want to. we talk to them when we want to.

nobody owes anybody their time and energy.

know what we want. acknowledge what we feel.

then you'll know in no time you start to love yourself.

people want to leave you? let them be. what's the point of holding on? let them be. if we want to leave, then we leave.

self love is hard but you will realize you love yourself more than anyone. because that's how love is.

we just do.