we accept the love that we think we deserve.

how far is that statement can go, i don't know too.

if we put in a perspective where we think if we waited patiently, we would get what we thought we deserved. but in a broad perspective, we are only torturing our minds to fool them to think in that way.

this is an appreciation post for you, my love.

there are times that i really deeply think that what we have now is almost surreal to me. do i really deserve this at that much? it's even crazier that we met online, known only for a short time but your sacrifices to go see me as if we've known and been together for years. maybe i don't actually know how love works, really.

maybe i went through so much that god thinks i should at least feel loved once in a while then wreck me after, i don't know. well, i'm not being pessimistic towards Him, it's just. too unreal for me.

it was always me at the end of the tunnel, waiting and waiting. it was always me. but this time i don't have to wait anymore. we are on the same road, walking hand in hand, together towards the end of the tunnel. we did stumble and we once fell into a very deep and dark hole. i thought we were about to end and i did trying to force myself to let everything go, like i always did. but when i expressed that hopelessness, you proved me wrong and you showed me giving up is not worth of what we've gone through together. what's between us is only distance, but our hearts and minds are belonged to the same place.

it's also super crazy how i can feel i get the same energy as much as i give. this is almost like a dream came true. maybe i've learnt how to love in the right way to a right person. like, i don't have to wait anymore.

i don't know how to do justice for my feelings towards you. i feel blessed and grateful for your whole existence. i ask you everyday, do you love me and how much do you love me. your answers sometimes like you just spit anything but sometimes i can feel you take your time to choose the words to convey perfectly how you feel. as for now, nothing could ever top this feeling of mine towards you and if our forever is short, it is still our forever and if our forever is the forever, i'd be very thankful to god for lending us this time.

angau post.
may our forever is the forever.