what's with the rush, giving me a slight feeling alive. and romanticizing what it feels like to feel alive.

i'm still looking for the actual reasons why i'm still going strong, through this. living in the moment is unexpectedly harder to do. i can't keep my head shut, my heart is beating in irregular speed everyday. worrying and worrying and worrying.

give me reasons to stay. i know i want to try it again, but give me reasons why. 

i can't do, "just because" at this point. i need a solid reason to stay.